The shitstorm started five seconds after we posted our "Closed for the Holidays" notice. Karen S. Bell (the "S" is for sulky) had a conniption fit about a one star review. ***What's that asshats? It's never about the reviews? Sure, sure.***
First Bell whined on the KDP forum.
Here's the review and her whine in the comments.
Possibly we should give Bell a little slack here. Wink.
After all, she clearly has ego issues making her completely immune to reality. Her books are amazing. She knows this because a few readers enjoyed them. Other books aren't as amazing. She knows this because she personally didn't like them. Reality TV is evil except for the ones she watches. Romance novels are porn except for the ones she writes.
If a blogger doesn't like her book, they're stupid and she hates them. If a blogger likes her book, they're brilliant and she respects them. Oh, but sometimes they like one book and not the other. Hmm...to hate or not to hate. That's the whiner's question.
Oh, and she attacked a blogger about another review too. To answer the asshat question: yes, the review was ABOUT THE BOOK.
If you ever consider reading one of Bell's books, keep in mind how she'll react if you don't like it.
The books are an extension of her and she's a big fan of Karen S. Bell. If you want to understand the mind of an asshat, check out her blog. The mood swings, self-pity, and anger will paint quite the picture.
If you think Bell is a whiner, wait until you meet our next lady lame.
Meet Annette Vanderzon aka A. Vanderzon aka Alixandra Vanderzon. This is going to be fun.
Alixsucks likes to start fights with authors in the KDP forum. She wrote a diet book, so you know she's the shit. Who are these other authors to say otherwise? Here she's upset because she discovered an author who had ten books with publication dates within two days of each other. Why would she care? She's Alixsucks, dammit!!!
If the holidays are making you glum, read Alixsucks's Ammy profile. It'll get you giggling and eye rolling in no time.
Finally, she received a one star review ABOUT THE BOOK. No personal attacks. Like all asshats, Alixsucks views a negative review of her book as a personal attack.
Alixsucks was horrified her diet book wasn't universally loved. Clearly, the reviewer is hiding her true gender!!! Uh, what?
Yes, Alixucks is a special kind of whiner. Seriously, read her profile!!!! It's awesomely awful!
The next cranky chick is a real winner. Sherry Bach posted a rant about a "trashy" review for her children's book. Bitchy, sure, but what makes Sherry special? The review was from three years ago!
Notice how it must be an atheist out to get her book. You know, by requesting more Jesus. Yeah, sounds about right. Anyway, she also attacked the review. THREE YEARS AGO!
She also wrote five star reviews on Ammy for her books AS HERSELF, but wrote about herself in the third person. Brilliant. In this case, she simply posted her rant against the reviewer as a review.
The authors on KDP forum noticed these facts and reported the reviews. Readers did too. So far, two reviews have been removed. Here and here are SS of her fabulous third person love letters to herself.
We should probably thank Sherry for drawing attention to the "trashy" review and revealing herself. Just think that for three years she got away with being a BBA and no one noticed until she drew attention to her butthurt. Brilliant times two.
Speaking of freaking out for no reason, Moose was back at it! Remember how she was going to stop whining?
She tried having her fangirls harass readers. When that didn't pan out, she whined again. It's what she does, but she gave it a rest for a few days in respect for all the dead turkeys. Then, yesterday she was back WAHing on her FB page about GR and mean ratings.
There are many gems in her babble. Our favorite is the idea that she can remove her books from GR. Her friend Rick Carufel has been trying to do that for months. Or she might know it can't be done from her other buddy Athelissa who pitched a fit about her books too. Moose plays dumb though.
In the comments, she fibs about why she was negatively rated by readers.
She's talking about Jenny Twist, but Moose was on our radar long before we knew her buddy existed. She wrote all those whiny blogs. Plus, she's a supporter of F&G. This was proven when Johnny Be Athena outed her buddies along with when Moose ran to them to help Jenny.
She compounded her bullshit by using an offensive word then doubling down on it. Something her FB buddies know all about.
This is all old news. We suspect the reason Moose freaked out this time was because she wanted us to pay attention to her. Well, there you go, jackass.
You know who else were acting like bratty children begging for mommy's attention? Why it's the weenies at F&G. Athelissa is done with the site, but she's been approving random comments on the lame "story" about readers sucking and butthurt authors rocking the world. As you might remember, weenie#1 whined when we didn't pay attention to the crapsterpiece post.
Next, Princess Pissface (not to be confused with Princess PP with the silly hats) stalked our public BL thread then freaked out when we noticed on her comment on a public website.
Someone needs freaken friends. A few days passed and the weenies felt ignored because we weren't talking about them. Their solution? To claim we're obsessed with them. Oh, and we're hunting them down eventually. AnonPerson never disappoints with the duh.
Oh, and they're also going to change their handles to confuse us.
Yeah, here's the thing, dipshits. It's not your handles that identify you. It's your writing. If you ever learn to change that up, our heads might give a shit.
Oh, and a particularly amused author created a few more socks to improve the rankings for her puerile books. We noticed she ignored the books of her allies though. Disloyal much?
Well, a lot of wacky women and lame ladies whined this week. Come on, fellas. Pick up the slack!
Coming soon: Award season is here, so we'll profile the best in asshattery for 2013!!! Stay tuned!
Big Announcement!!! Just before we were ready to post our update, Athelissa made her defeat official. We told you she was losing and WE NAILED IT!!!! Nicely done, whisperers!!!